Donate Us

Help us keep this free site alive with a small contribution from you. Select an amount below.

Sunday, February 26, 2017

Yes, this was a real question on Quora last week:

The answers are, as you might imagine, very funny:

My guess would be that we are extremely popular, thus many advertisements like to hitchhike when the word Israel is mentioned. Your iPhone gets chocked up with the cookies.
Of course, to check my theory, you’d need to write something good about Israel and see if the consequences are the same. Would this reflect badly on your health?
If you send your iPhone to the Mossad for repair, they will fix this problem.

You may be aware that we just held our annual Meeting of the Elders of Zion. One of the issues we were grappling with was people criticizing us. One especially sleazy technology controller came up with a strategy to combat this.
Every time someone criticizes Israel or Jews, we will make their device slow down a bit. Eventually, they will either stop, or their phone will stop for them.
Of course this was with Donald Trump’s approval.

Maybe your phone is tired of you criticizing Israel online. Try to criticize Palestine and see if it goes faster, you never know.

It's because Apple is founded by the Illuminati and the Illuminati’s aim is to establish a Jewish world government so they slow down people’s iPhones so that these people don't mess with the Illuminati’s plan to establish a Jewish world government.
I hope you're now enlightened.

Wrapping the phone in tin foil will solve the problem. Use the same foil that you use to make your hats. 

(h/t Josh K)




We have lots of ideas, but we need more resources to be even more effective. Please donate today to help get the message out and to help defend Israel.

0 comments:

Post a Comment

EoZTV Podcast

Powered by Blogger.

follow me

search eoz

Recent posts from other blogs

subscribe via email

comments

Contact

translate

E-Book

source materials

reference sites

multimedia

source materials for Jewish learning

great places to give money

media watch

humor

.

Source materials

Sample Text

EoZ's Most Popular Posts Ever

follow me

Followers

pages

Random Posts

Pages - Menu

Elder of Ziyon - حـكـيـم صـهـيـون

Donate!

Tweets

Compliments

Monthly subscription:
Subscription options

One time donation:

Interesting Blogs

Best posts of 2016

Blog Archive

compliments

Algemeiner: "Fiercely intelligent and erudite"

Omri: "Elder is one of the best established and most respected members of the jblogosphere..."
Atheist Jew:"Elder of Ziyon probably had the greatest impression on me..."
Soccer Dad: "He undertakes the important task of making sure that his readers learn from history."
AbbaGav: "A truly exceptional blog..."
Judeopundit: "[A] venerable blog-pioneer and beloved patriarchal figure...his blog is indispensable."
Oleh Musings: "The most comprehensive Zionist blog I have seen."
Carl in Jerusalem: "...probably the most under-recognized blog in the JBlogsphere as far as I am concerned."
Aussie Dave: "King of the auto-translation."
The Israel Situation:The Elder manages to write so many great, investigative posts that I am often looking to him for important news on the PalArab (his term for Palestinian Arab) side of things."
Tikun Olam: "Either you are carelessly ignorant or a willful liar and distorter of the truth. Either way, it makes you one mean SOB."
Mondoweiss commenter: "For virulent pro-Zionism (and plain straightforward lies of course) there is nothing much to beat it."
Didi Remez: "Leading wingnut"