Donate Us

Help us keep this free site alive with a small contribution from you. Select an amount below.

Wednesday, April 27, 2016


Our weekly column from the humor site PreOccupied Territory
 
 
 Check out their Facebook page.




LivniJerusalem, April 27  - The Knesset Comptroller's Office has noticed an increase in the amount of deodorant bought by MK Tzipi Livni in the last two weeks, Knesset observers have reported.
The monthly deadline for submission of receipts to be covered by the per diem allotted to each MK passed yesterday; among the receipts was a spike in purchases by Livni of several new brands of antiperspirant and deodorant in quantities she had not previously recorded, an increase that began immediately after her trip to Harvard last week.

Accountants at the Comptroller's office provided the information under a Freedom of Information request filed by journalists. According to the records, the last two weeks saw a seven hundred percent increase in Livni's deodorant purchases, accounting for nearly half of her expenses for the period and bringing her total expenditures far outside the daily allowance provided to MKs. Livni has covered the excess from her own pocket, but has raised eyebrows at the Comptroller's office simply for the unusual nature of the receipts.

"It's not that there's anything here that smells wrong," said Deputy Director Roi Heshbon. "She's offsetting with her own funds whatever she spends beyond her allotted amount. That's fine. If she wants to use those monies to buy three or four cases each of Secret, Dove, Speed Stick, and some Polish brand no one has ever heard of, that's her business. She could eat the stuff, for all I care."

Aides to the HaTnua Party chairwoman and family members have also noticed their boss taking extra time in the shower during the same period. "Mom has been taking longer of late, that's for sure," observed her son Omri Spitzer. "Don't think Yuval and I haven't noticed. Especially after she laced into us for wasting water with our own showers. It's like she can't stick with an idea for very long."

During her recent trip to Boston, aides remarked that since her appearance at Harvard, the MK has taken to sniffing her armpits at short intervals. "It's not unusual to see Tzipi linger at the Duty Free shops to check out the perfumes, but this time was excessive," said staff member who spoke on condition of anonymity. "I don't know what's come over her."

The same aide recalled that upon returning to her hotel room after the Harvard appearance, Livni appeared to take offense at the generous supply of free bars of soap provided to hotel guests in the bathroom, as if the hotel were implying there was an extra need for them in her case. She then pocketed all of them.



We have lots of ideas, but we need more resources to be even more effective. Please donate today to help get the message out and to help defend Israel.

0 comments:

Post a Comment

EoZTV Podcast

Powered by Blogger.

follow me

search eoz

Recent posts from other blogs

subscribe via email

comments

Contact

translate

E-Book

source materials

reference sites

multimedia

source materials for Jewish learning

great places to give money

media watch

humor

.

Source materials

Sample Text

EoZ's Most Popular Posts Ever

follow me

Followers


pages

Random Posts

Pages - Menu

Elder of Ziyon - حـكـيـم صـهـيـون

Donate!

Tweets

Compliments

Monthly subscription:
Subscription options

One time donation:

Interesting Blogs

Categories

Best posts of 2016

Blog Archive

compliments

Algemeiner: "Fiercely intelligent and erudite"

Omri: "Elder is one of the best established and most respected members of the jblogosphere..."
Atheist Jew:"Elder of Ziyon probably had the greatest impression on me..."
Soccer Dad: "He undertakes the important task of making sure that his readers learn from history."
AbbaGav: "A truly exceptional blog..."
Judeopundit: "[A] venerable blog-pioneer and beloved patriarchal figure...his blog is indispensable."
Oleh Musings: "The most comprehensive Zionist blog I have seen."
Carl in Jerusalem: "...probably the most under-recognized blog in the JBlogsphere as far as I am concerned."
Aussie Dave: "King of the auto-translation."
The Israel Situation:The Elder manages to write so many great, investigative posts that I am often looking to him for important news on the PalArab (his term for Palestinian Arab) side of things."
Tikun Olam: "Either you are carelessly ignorant or a willful liar and distorter of the truth. Either way, it makes you one mean SOB."
Mondoweiss commenter: "For virulent pro-Zionism (and plain straightforward lies of course) there is nothing much to beat it."
Didi Remez: "Leading wingnut"