Donate Us

Help us keep this free site alive with a small contribution from you. Select an amount below.

Wednesday, December 30, 2015

Our weekly column from the humor site PreOccupied Territory

Check out their Facebook page.



I said my piece today in court about my innocence, and about how I will respect the High Court's rulings on my impending prison sentences. My legal team is examining what further options we have, but it comes down to this: whom do I have to bribe to get my conviction for accepting bribes overturned?

There's always a way. My decades in politics have taught me nothing if not that. It just takes finding the right people, and the right inducements. Then it's merely a matter of persuasion, timing, and execution. So who's it gonna be? I can still call in favors to make it worth somebody's while. All I have to do is come up with a plan, and find the people willing to be handsomely rewarded for facilitating that plan.

Of course some setbacks are to be expected. That's the nature of the game. I can't seriously expect to resolve this problem before my incarceration begins as scheduled in February. These things do take time. Even if my legal team can't prevent the eighteen-month sentence from starting, I can still work things from behind bars. It might even take as long as the whole sentence, but I've got my sights set on cleansing myself of the "moral turpitude" this conviction attached to the sentence. Unless I can arrange to have that reversed, I won't be allowed to re-enter politics for seven years after my release. That would be a shame, because I'm not so young anymore, and I wouldn't be able to serve the electorate with the same arrogance and incompetence that they came to expect from me. So I need to know who the fixer is who can get this done for me. I pay well.

I need to find the right people or person in the right position to make my case to them, in whatever denominations they prefer. Someone who understands, as I do, and as so many leftist Israelis do, that sometimes the rigid rules of the system have to give way to a higher value. In my case, it was the development of Jerusalem. In the case of the Left, it's a peace agreement, and who cares about a few bribes before I was even prime minister? To the fixer I'm looking for, it's a little of both: grease the right palms, make the right threats, all in the interest of clearing my name so I can get back into politics, make a triumphant return to the premiership, and give away huge swaths of the Jewish homeland to a bunch of unreconstructed terrorists in suits.

So who's it gonna be? Name your price.


We are doing everything we can to fight for Israel with hard work, research and - above all - the truth. We need your help.
Please donate today.
If you have other skills you can volunteer for EoZ, send an email to volunteer@elderofziyon.com



--
Posted By Elder of Ziyon to Elder Of Ziyon - Israel News at 12/30/2015 02:00:00 PM

0 comments:

Post a Comment

EoZTV Podcast

Powered by Blogger.

follow me

search eoz

Recent posts from other blogs

subscribe via email

comments

Contact

translate

E-Book

source materials

reference sites

multimedia

source materials for Jewish learning

great places to give money

media watch

humor

.

Source materials

Sample Text

EoZ's Most Popular Posts Ever

follow me

Followers


pages

Random Posts

Pages - Menu

Elder of Ziyon - حـكـيـم صـهـيـون

Donate!

Tweets

Compliments

Monthly subscription:
Subscription options

One time donation:

Interesting Blogs

Categories

Best posts of 2016

Blog Archive

compliments

Algemeiner: "Fiercely intelligent and erudite"

Omri: "Elder is one of the best established and most respected members of the jblogosphere..."
Atheist Jew:"Elder of Ziyon probably had the greatest impression on me..."
Soccer Dad: "He undertakes the important task of making sure that his readers learn from history."
AbbaGav: "A truly exceptional blog..."
Judeopundit: "[A] venerable blog-pioneer and beloved patriarchal figure...his blog is indispensable."
Oleh Musings: "The most comprehensive Zionist blog I have seen."
Carl in Jerusalem: "...probably the most under-recognized blog in the JBlogsphere as far as I am concerned."
Aussie Dave: "King of the auto-translation."
The Israel Situation:The Elder manages to write so many great, investigative posts that I am often looking to him for important news on the PalArab (his term for Palestinian Arab) side of things."
Tikun Olam: "Either you are carelessly ignorant or a willful liar and distorter of the truth. Either way, it makes you one mean SOB."
Mondoweiss commenter: "For virulent pro-Zionism (and plain straightforward lies of course) there is nothing much to beat it."
Didi Remez: "Leading wingnut"