Donate Us

Help us keep this free site alive with a small contribution from you. Select an amount below.

Wednesday, July 24, 2013

This letter, written by Irene, is sort of genius:

PERSONAL AND CONFIDENTIAL

Lady Catherine Ashton
High Representative of the Union for Foreign Affairs and Security Policy
and
Vice-President of the European Commission
Brussels

Excellency:

Because we met a few years ago in Ankara during the time of Turkey's invasion of Iraq and its bombing of Iraqi civilian homes that Prime Minister ErdoÄŸan believed to harbor PKK activists, I feel emboldened to write directly to you. You may recall that I had just been dismissed from my position as Senior Protocol Officer of the Republic of Azerbaijan by Armenian occupation officials.

I have several questions regarding the new directive "Guidelines on the eligibility of Israeli entities and their activities in the territories occupied by Israel since June 1967 for grants, prizes and financial instruments funded by the EU from 2014 onwards."

1. My primary business is established (as defined in the directive) in Turkish occupied northern Cyprus, but I employ an individual whose great grandfather lived in Hebron in the West Bank during all 19 years of the Jordanian occupation when the whole area was ethnically cleansed of Jews. Am I eligible to apply for an EU grant to pay his salary?

2. I have a second business, incorporated and established, for tax purposes, in Rabat, but which is physically located in Moroccan occupied Western Sahara. We manufacture prayer flags for an important client in occupied Tibet; but the delivery truck broke down while transiting Jordan, which King Hussein, at the time of our incorporation, said was Palestine. (I believe his exact statement was, "Jordan is Palestine, and Palestine is Jordan.") Because of the emergency nature of the shipment, we contracted with a trucking firm run by Hasidic individuals from Shiloh in the occupied West Bank. They are demanding advance payment in the currency previously used in western Georgia before the Russian invasion. Are we eligible for a short-term loan from the European Investment Bank?

3. I have a third business that my Jewish great aunt established in Jerusalem's ancient Jewish Quarter on the very day that General Allenby arrived with British Forces in their effort to protect the civilians of Albion from Ottoman aggression thousands of miles away. (Of course, that was before it became an international crime for Jews to live in East Jerusalem.) This firm exports pastis to customers in French-occupied Corsica and also to Bilbao in the Spanish occupied Basque region. If I establish a dummy corporation in British occupied Gibraltar, will my pastis meet European Union specifications, or will I have to ship it to the Falklands for reprocessing?

I am so appreciative of your attention to this matter. I remain a committed fan of your clear vision for the future of civilization as we know it. Your many pronouncements on the ethics of occupation and the need to maintain the rule of international law throughout the cosmos have been an inspiration to so many of us. I look forward to meeting you when you come to Riyadh in the fall for the International End to Feminism Conference.

Allow me, Excellency, to renew to you the assurances of my highest consideration.

Yours profoundly,

Ağcabədi Ağdaş
President and Chief Financial Officer
Bərdə Beyləqan Biləsuvar, Ltd.

--
Posted By Elder of Ziyon to Elder of Ziyon at 7/24/2013 09:27:00 PM

0 comments:

Post a Comment

EoZTV Podcast

Powered by Blogger.

follow me

search eoz

Recent posts from other blogs

subscribe via email

comments

Contact

translate

E-Book

source materials

reference sites

multimedia

source materials for Jewish learning

great places to give money

media watch

humor

.

Source materials

Sample Text

EoZ's Most Popular Posts Ever

follow me

Followers


pages

Random Posts

Pages - Menu

Elder of Ziyon - حـكـيـم صـهـيـون

Donate!

Tweets

Compliments

Monthly subscription:
Subscription options

One time donation:

Interesting Blogs

Categories

Best posts of 2016

Blog Archive

compliments

Algemeiner: "Fiercely intelligent and erudite"

Omri: "Elder is one of the best established and most respected members of the jblogosphere..."
Atheist Jew:"Elder of Ziyon probably had the greatest impression on me..."
Soccer Dad: "He undertakes the important task of making sure that his readers learn from history."
AbbaGav: "A truly exceptional blog..."
Judeopundit: "[A] venerable blog-pioneer and beloved patriarchal figure...his blog is indispensable."
Oleh Musings: "The most comprehensive Zionist blog I have seen."
Carl in Jerusalem: "...probably the most under-recognized blog in the JBlogsphere as far as I am concerned."
Aussie Dave: "King of the auto-translation."
The Israel Situation:The Elder manages to write so many great, investigative posts that I am often looking to him for important news on the PalArab (his term for Palestinian Arab) side of things."
Tikun Olam: "Either you are carelessly ignorant or a willful liar and distorter of the truth. Either way, it makes you one mean SOB."
Mondoweiss commenter: "For virulent pro-Zionism (and plain straightforward lies of course) there is nothing much to beat it."
Didi Remez: "Leading wingnut"