[Elder Of Ziyon - Israel News] A Jew Builds a Second Bathroom in East Jerusalem (Satire - Mike Lumish)

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This is the bit of satire, dated 3/10/10, that got me booted off of the left-liberal political blog Daily Kos at a time when I was writing under the nom de blog, Karmafish.

I like this bit because I think that it is funny, as did some others, as you can plainly see if you are crazy enough to slog through all 423 comments.

Of course, many others considered this piece to be the very height of insensitivity.

At the time, by the way, I still believed in a little something that people call "East Jerusalem."  Today I would just say the eastern section of town or the "Old City" depending upon the specific story.

But, without further ado:

Breaking: Jew Builds Second Bathroom in East Jerusalem

Sheikh Jarrah, East Jerusalem --- The entire world was shocked yesterday when this reporter revealed that retired electrician, Ehud David Netanyolmert, shook the peace process to its roots by building an illegal second bathroom in his East Jerusalem home.

“This is yet another example of Israeli intransigence,” said Palestinian Authority PM, Mahmoud Abbas. “We cannot negotiate with the Israelis if they insist upon violating international law with the continued building on Palestinian lands. Israel must pressure Mr. Netanyolmert to dismantle the illegal mini-settlement that he has constructed.”

Only slightly taken aback by the world community’s rejection of the second bathroom, Benjamin Netanyahu told the Jerusalem Post, “Israel wants peace and two states for two peoples. The Palestinians need to sit down at the negotiating table and I honestly do not see what some guy's second bathroom has to do with anything.”

In Washington, US President Barack Obama convened an emergency meeting with his cabinet in order to evaluate the situation and to determine the best response to this most recent Israeli aggression. In response to the crisis US diplomat George Mitchell claimed, “Israelis have rights, but so do the Palestinian people. While the United States remains deeply committed to Israeli security, it is entirely unclear how the second bathroom promotes that security or in any way advances the cause of peace.”

When queried about this blatant Zionist violation of international law Mr. Netanyolmert objected to the entire line of inquiry. “You people are meshuganah,” Netanyolmert said while standing in his doorway, wearing his jammies and blinking into the morning sun. “Are you honestly telling me that Vladimir Putin objects to my second bathroom on the grounds that it is an impediment to peace? Vladimir Putin? Really?”

It should be obvious to any reasonable observer that Mr. Netanyolmert’s myopia regarding Zionist aggression, and his willingness to derail the peace process, cannot be allowed to go unchallenged. The Palestinian peace organization, Hamas, therefore responded today with a flurry of Qassam and Katyusha rocket attacks on S’derot and Ashkelon. The typical Israeli myopia extended to former S’derot mayor, Eli Moyal, who, while quivering under his desk, is alleged to have told his secretary, “Second bathroom? What second bathroom? What the hell are these people talking about?”

Meanwhile, a variety of Israeli left-of-center organizations are planning a mass rally in opposition to The Second Bathroom. Naomi Chazan, of the New Israel Fund, said that dozens of people will gather outside Mr. Netanyolmert’s home in solidarity with Palestinian activists in a No Second Bathroom rally. The protestors will carry signs reading, “Get the Hell out of the Bathroom, Already!” and “Netanyolmert, Zionist Criminal Baby Killer!” and “Who Do These Jews Think They Are, Anyways?!”

Some fear that just as Ariel Sharon's stroll on the Temple Mount inevitably caused the Al-Aqsa Intifada, so Mr. Netanyolmert's violation of Palestinian sovereignty might spark a third... The First Second Bathroom Intifada.

One hopes that if the Israeli government makes the necessary concessions by evacuating the bathroom then the Palestinian Authority might be persuaded to sit down for peace talks.

But who would blame the PA if they refuse?


From the comments at the time:

In poor taste just 2 weeks before the anniversary (21+ / 1-) of Rachel Corrie's death on March 25, 2003, by an Israeli bulldozer while trying to protect a Palestinian home from being demolished.

I have only one suggestion for this diary: flush it.

http://www.rachelcorrie.org/

by heiderose1 on Wed Mar 10, 2010 at 03:01:31 PM PST

Rachel Corrie?  So I published this thing two weeks before the seventh anniversary of the accidental death of American anti-Israel activist Rachel Corrie and that represents poor taste?

If it was ONLY the building of a second bathroom (14+ / 0-)that was going on in E. Jerusalem, but it is not.  There is much more going on in terms of expanding settlements and building activity than this snarky diary lets on.

by True Independent on Wed Mar 10, 2010 at 01:56:25 PM PST

Who the hell are these people to complain about Jews building housing for themselves in the ancient Jewish capital of Jerusalem, east, west, or otherwise?  That was the whole point of the piece!

That's right Karma.. (26+ / 0-)..the Neyanyahu government smacking the Obama admin in the face by announcing the day Biden arrives in Israel to advance "peace talks" that they're going ahead with building 1600 housing units in northeastern Jerusalem is a joke.

You should be banned.

by sofia on Wed Mar 10, 2010 at 02:09:27 PM PST 

Well, sofia got her wish.

For daring to mock western-left anti-Jewish racism I was, in fact, banned from Daily Kos.

I know it must seem silly to remark upon five year old comments in an old Daily Kos "diary," but I remain amazed at the ease with which so many on the western-left condemn Jews for building housing for themselves in Israel.

These are people who think of themselves as anti-racists concerned with social justice.

The hypocrisy is just staggering.

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Michael Lumish is a blogger at the Israel Thrives blog as well as a regular contributor/blogger at Times of Israel and Jews Down Under.

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Posted By Elder of Ziyon to Elder Of Ziyon - Israel News at 8/02/2015 11:00:00 AM