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Thursday, July 20, 2017

Our weekly column from the humor site PreOccupied Territory


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GPO (Israel)
GPO (Israel)
Gaza City, July 19 - Sources within the intelligence community have uncovered evidence that prolonged Arab opposition to the Israel under the misapprehension that it remains possible to defeat and destroy the Jewish State actually results from a decades-long disinformation operation to distract Arabs from the work of building prosperous, peaceful societies.
Analysts and former intelligence officials in multiple Arab capitals told PreOccupied Territory this week they had made the potentially explosive discovery after examining the long-term results of the seemingly disparate anti-Israel stances of the dozens of Arab and Muslim states in the region and beyond.
"It occurred to me that we could have advanced our societies beyond imagination if we hadn't been focused on denying the Jews sovereignty," observed one, a Jordanian. "Clearly, forces conspired to deprive us of a sober perspective on these developments, and we all know which forces those are."
"It just makes so much sense, and fits all the evidence - it's shocking we hadn't considered this before," admitted an Algerian analyst. "It dovetails with everything we know about the way the Zionists operate, and the only way to explain how it took us this long to realize it is to attribute it to a Zionist scheme."
If true, the plot represents yet another in a long line of sweeping Zionist initiatives to compromise the Arab-Muslim societies of the Levant and broader Near East, including the introduction of Islam in the seventh century as a means to make Muslims look bad, a nefarious initiative still yielding dividends many centuries later.
According to experts, such a plot virtually guarantees a victory to the Zionists, as it plays on the Arabs' worst vulnerabilities. "The last thing anyone, at least any leader, in this region wants to do is betray any sign of serving the Jews' interests," explained Morton Sfork. "That rules out advocating an abandonment of the Palestinian issue. But focusing on the Palestinian issue means allocating resources to it instead of to the industrial, educational, or economic development of the country, a decision that in turn condemns the country to economic, cultural, and developmental stagnation, resulting in defeat. Clever chaps."
"It turns on the axiom that Muslims and Arabs can't be blamed for their misfortune," he concluded. "As always, the fault must lie with outside forces, and the Jews were kind enough to bring their outside forces to the Islamic world, for convenience's sake, which was nice of them."



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