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Wednesday, April 20, 2022

04/20 Links Pt1: Passover, Ramadan: Holidays that coincide need not collide; Iran’s IRGC wanted to learn Hebrew, ex-hostage says

From Ian:

Passover, Ramadan: Holidays that coincide need not collide
So much good is already happening, all we must do is amplify it. This will be the second Ramadan and Passover since the signing of the Abraham Accords. In these two years not one there has been not one reported incident of antisemitism in the entire United Arab Emirates – not antisemitic and not anti-Israel. In fact, it is safer to walk the streets of Abu Dhabi and Dubai as outwardly identifiable Jews than it is in New York, London or Paris.

As Jews around the world say at their Seder, Dayenu, that would be enough of a reason to give praise to God, but we as God’s creations cannot be satisfied with the absence of hate. We cannot possibly discuss meaningful coexistence without raising the Abraham Accords, which have allowed Jews, Muslims, and Christians in the Middle East to relearn one another after decades of only coexisting by proximity and separated by ignorance.

Those of us who have interacted closely with Muslims, Jews, and Christians of the signatory countries can attest in no uncertain terms that the holidays celebrated by these three great religions do not cause hatred, tension or angst. Israeli Jews have been welcomed at iftars from DC to Dubai, and Muslims from the UAE have been welcomed in synagogues from Boca Raton to Jerusalem.

In fact, a great example that truly epitomizes the spirit of what we’re describing here is the Sheikh Zayed Grand Mosque in Abu Dhabi, UAE. The mosque, which welcomes visitors of all faiths all year long, runs various initiatives during the holy month of Ramadan that should serve as an antidote to the fallacy that we collide during the periods considered holy by our respective religions.

One such initiative is Iftar Sa’em, which literally translates to “feeding a fasting person,” a program that brings together more than 30,000 people daily, from all walks of life and various faiths, at the mosque to dine at one table.

Another initiative sponsored by the mosque during this holy month is inviting citizens and residents from various religions and backgrounds to spend a day of volunteering together that culminates in distributing iftar meals.

The beautiful experiences happening at the mosque are only a few of the many great examples taking place around the world every day between Muslims and Jews, because when left to our own devices, without the interference of those who want us to collide, we instinctively want to come together in peace.

So, the next time you see a headline that insinuates that Ramadan and Passover are at odds, rest assured that those who wrote it do not understand our religions, at best, and, at worst, they are rooting for those who have hijacked peaceful religions for extremist wins.

Wishing everyone celebrating a peaceful and joyous Ramadan and Passover.

Dr. Yousef Al Obaidly is director general, Sh. Zayed Grand Mosque.

Rabbi Aryeh Lightstone is former special envoy for economic normalization for the Abraham Accords.
JPost Editorial: Jordan's response to al-Aqsa clashes is unacceptable - editorial
What “provocative acts’’ against Muslims was Abdullah referring to exactly? Trying to keep Palestinian youth incited by Hamas from hurling rocks down on Jewish worshipers at the Western Wall 62 feet below?

As for al-Khasawneh, he sounded downright Iranian using the term “pro-Zionists” to refer to those Jews who were the target of rocks thrown by the Palestinians and Jordanian Islamic Wakf workers he so praised.

This type of rhetoric is to be expected from Hamas, and the Palestinian Authority. But from Jordan, a country with whom Israel has had a peace treaty dating to 1994? A country with whom Israel has a strategic relationship that greatly benefits both sides? A country that gets badly needed gas and water from Israel? A country involved in a long fight with its own Islamic fanatics (ISIS and Muslim Brotherhood) who twist religion and religious symbols to commit acts of violence?

Israel, as Prime Minister Naftali Bennett said without mentioning the Hashemite Kingdom by name, expects more from Jordan. As it should.

It should expect that its peace partner to the immediate east work to douse flames, not pour fuel on them.

“Here is the truth: Israel does everything so that everyone can always celebrate the holidays in security – Jews, Muslims and Christians,” Bennett said. “We expect from everyone that they do not join the lies, and certainly not encourage violence against Jews.”

Ever the diplomat, Bennett did not specifically call Jordan out because he did not want to create any more tension with such an important partner. We can afford to be less diplomatic. If Jordan wants to be treated like a friend, it should act and – yes – speak like a friend. The comments coming from its officials over the last few days have been anything but friendly. Israel needs to make it clear that this is utterly unacceptable.
Israel Won’t Tolerate Calls Supporting Violence in Jerusalem, Lapid Tells Blinken
Foreign Minister Yair Lapid said Tuesday that Israel will not accept statements encouraging the uptick in violence in Jerusalem in recent days, calling instead for international support to return calm to the city.

During a phone conversation with US Secretary Antony Blinken, Lapid spoke about Israel’s efforts to allow freedom of worship to all followers of Judaism, Islam and Christianity in Jerusalem.

Lapid emphasized “Israel’s responsible and measured efforts in the face of riots by hundreds of Islamic extremists on the Temple Mount, as well as falsehoods and disinformation spread by extremists which are fanning the flames of violence instead of bringing about calm,” the Foreign Ministry stated.

The conversation between the two top diplomats comes amid heightened tensions with Palestinians and violent riots around Jerusalem’s Al Aqsa mosque compound and in the West Bank during the holy month of Ramadan, and as Israel has stepped up its counterterror operations following a recent wave of deadly attacks.

Jordan’s King Abdullah this week warned that Israel’s Al Aqsa policy “seriously undermines” prospects for peace with the Palestinians, while its Prime Minister Bisher al-Khasawneh uttered support for stone-throwing by Palestinians around the Temple Mount.

Blinken spoke with his Israeli counterpart following a “productive call” with Jordanian Foreign Minister Ayman Hsafadi on Monday discussing increased tensions and recent violence in Israel and the West Bank, including around the Temple Mount.


Elliott Abrams: The Biden Administrations Flirts with Dangerous Moves to Weaken U.S. Veto Power in the United Nations
The United States has used its veto in the UN Security Council 14 times since 2000, and 12 of those 14 were exercised to protect Israel from biased and destructive resolutions.

But today, the Biden administration is co-sponsoring a UN General Assembly resolution that goes down the path leading to a delegitimization of the veto itself. Forty-four countries, at last count, are supporting a text that requires any country that exercises the veto to defend that veto in the General Assembly. This resolution will pass in the General Assembly and taken alone, it isn’t a very big step. The United States always gives an “EOV” or explanation of vote in the Security Council when it vetoes a resolution. It can easily enough transmit that EOV to the General Assembly.

But here it’s the thought that counts, and the thought is to make the Security Council report to the General Assembly. It is one step in a long process that is meant to change the way the Security Council works, eventually by adding members and removing the veto—or making it subject to override by the General Assembly.

A moment’s thought shows how damaging this might be to U.S. interests. The United States is a global power that has been involved in military activities repeatedly. Without our veto power, the Security Council could do literally anything: subject American troops to International Criminal Court jurisdiction; subject the United States to new international treaties or agreements that impose standards to which we object and outlaw military activities we consider vital to our national security; and outside the area of national security, adopt standards relating to parents, children, family law, and gender rules that we find objectionable, or impose rules against “insults to religion” that clearly violate the First Amendment. Without the veto there is simply no way to protect against limitless actions against our national interest.
Dore Gold: Instead of Relying on Rogue States like Russia for Energy, the West Should Look to Israel and its Democratic Partners
In 2018, at least 70% of Russia’s natural gas exports were delivered to EU member states. But they were not equally dependent on Russia for more than 50% of their gas imports; by comparison, eleven EU states only needed Russian gas for less than 10% of their consumption.

These numbers are important. The impact of a Russian gas cutoff or reduction of supply will vary with the degree of dependence of the European state in question. Similarly, the policies they will advocate for dealing with Russian gas will depend on the extent to which that gas affects their economy. Even with their differences, the EU Foreign Policy Chief, Josep Borrell, was able to voice a united policy for Europe, in January, 2022, based on his view that “we must reduce our dependency on Russian energy.” In the course of the year, it became clearer that Russian gas sales were helping President Putin pay for his war in Eastern Europe against Ukraine.

Coming up with a solution to the Russian gas question for Europe also has an Israeli angle. The new Israeli government headed by Prime Minister Naftali Bennett, modified Israeli energy policy; it halted the granting of licenses for natural gas exploration for one year while it devoted its efforts to work on renewable energy, like solar power and wind power.

Whatever the excuses that were offered by the Israeli Ministry of Energy, there was an increasing risk of their jeopardizing one of the great economic opportunities of the State of Israel in decades.

With the postponement of Israel’s gas pipeline to Europe, Israeli gas is still used for its Middle Eastern partners, particularly Egypt and Jordan. With the anticipated improvement of Israeli ties to Turkey, Ankara could emerge as an export hub for Israeli gas in the future. Gas will be a critical factor in the international politics of the Middle East, but not in the way originally expected when Israel’s Mediterranean deposits were first discovered.

Clearly there is a joint interest across the Western alliance to increase the supply of natural gas to the West as a whole. Increased supplies of gas would help drive down its price just as many states are suffering from unprecedented increases in the price of gas and oil. Failing to complete the EastMed pipeline would be a strategic blunder that will only exacerbate the energy crisis at a time when it has already escalated with the outbreak of a major European war.

Whether it’s reducing Western dependence on Russian gas or Iranian oil, the West is way overdue for a course correction.
Bribe Payments Flow from Illinois Dem’s Campaign Account
Democratic congresswoman Marie Newman (Ill.) paid another $24,500 in donor funds to a political rival she bribed to keep out of her primary race.

Newman's disbursements to Palestinian activist and terrorist sympathizer Iymen Chehade came over a three-month period, from January to March 2022, the Democrat's latest campaign finance disclosure shows. Newman has paid Chehade nearly $80,000 since the pair settled a breach of contract lawsuit in late June, which stemmed from an employment agreement Newman signed promising Chehade a six-figure job in her office in exchange for his commitment not to run against her.

After the Washington Free Beacon reported on those payments, fellow Illinois Democrat Sean Casten—who is running against Newman in the state's Sixth Congressional District—called on Newman to release the details of her settlement with Chehade. But the ongoing scandal does more than jeopardize Newman's political standing in the race. Federal law prohibits a candidate from promising employment "for the purpose of procuring political support," and the House Office of Congressional Ethics says it has "substantial reason to believe" Newman did just that.

"Public service is a trust, and our entire democracy is jeopardized when voters have reason to believe that any elected officials are placing our personal self-interest above the public good," Casten said in a statement. "It has been over five months since the nonpartisan Office of Congressional Ethics unanimously voted to further the investigation into Marie Newman. Five months of silence is unacceptable. It is time for her to level with the public."

Newman's campaign claims its payments to Chehade stem merely from his role as its "director of foreign policy and research." Less than a year ago, however, the campaign publicly disparaged Chehade, calling him "disrespectful," "very hard to get along with," and "ill-suited for a senior role in a congressional office."
Coca-Cola Hosts Earth Day Event With Democrat Who Says Jews Control Weather
Coca-Cola Consolidated and Giant Food held an Earth Day environmental cleanup event with a Democratic Washington, D.C., councilman who has accused Jews of controlling the climate.

Ward 8 councilman Trayon White Sr., who is challenging incumbent mayor Muriel Bowser in the Democratic mayoral primary, teamed up with the Coke-bottling company and grocery chain last week to host the cleanup day for Oxon Run, a stream located in White’s ward.

White’s fraught relationship with the Jewish community dates back to at least 2018, when he claimed that wealthy Jews used "climate manipulation" to cause bad weather in D.C. and donated $500 in community funds to sponsor a conference by infamous Jew-hater Louis Farrakhan.

The event raises questions about why such prominent brands would partner with a political leader who is known for pushing anti-Semitic conspiracy theories. Coca-Cola Consolidated, one of the main Coca-Cola bottlers in the United States, did not immediately respond to a request for comment.

Photos from the April 9 event show White posing with cleanup volunteers from Coca-Cola Consolidated with Coca-Cola flags and signs prominently displayed in the background.

A spokesman for Giant told the Washington Free Beacon that the event, and White’s invitation, was Coca-Cola Consolidated’s idea.

"This was an event run by Coca-Cola that we were happy to be a part of, because cleaning up our environment is very important to Giant Food. D.C. Councilman Trayon White Sr. was invited by Coca-Cola, so I cannot speak on that," said the spokesman.
Labour Party candidate in Vale of Glamorgan suspended after referring to Ukrainian President as a “Zionist” and “fascist”
The Labour Party has suspended a candidate in the upcoming local elections after he reportedly referred to Ukrainian President Volodymyr Zelenskyy, who is Jewish, as a “Zionist”, questioning why he had so much support.

Ziad Alsayed, a candidate for the Baruc ward in Barry, Vale of Glamorgan, allegedly wrote the tweet in Arabic on 26th February, saying “How could we side with a country that has a Zionist president?” He has since deleted the tweet.

Alun Cairns, Conservative MP for the Vale of Glamorgan, expressed his concern about another tweet written by Mr Alsayed, in which the Labour candidate calls Mr Zelenskyy a “fascist”. Mr Alsayed is understood to have responded to an expression of solidarity for Ukraine written by London Mayor Sadiq Khan with the words: “If you mean the Ukrainian people that’s OK, but not the fascist president.”

Although the Labour Party has suspended Mr Alsayed pending an investigation, he will remain on the ballot for the election, nominally as the Party’s candidate, because nominations have already closed.

A spokesperson for Labour said: “The Labour Party takes all complaints seriously. They are fully investigated in line with our rules and procedures, and any appropriate action is taken.”
Malawi president plans to move embassy to Jerusalem, MP tells ‘Post’
Malawi President Lazarus Chakwera plans to move his country’s embassy to Jerusalem, according to MP Joyce Chitsulo.

“I would be lying if I told you a timeframe, but I hope the move will happen soon,” Chitsulo said last month during a visit to Israel as part of the Israel Allies Foundation's Chairmen's Conference.

Chitsulo is the local chair of her parliament’s Israel Allies Caucus, a pro-Israel caucus focused on supporting Israel through faith-based diplomacy. Its members believe in the biblical connection of Jews and Christians to Israel and stand for Israel as a result.

Chitsulo has held her position since 2019.

“I remember the president’s first national address, how he mentioned having an embassy in Jerusalem,” Chitsulo recalled. “That was very good, and I rose up and supported him.”

Since then, she said, she and her fellow pro-Israel parliamentarians have been riling up others to join the cause - both inside and outside of parliament.

“We are recruiting others to make sure it is known to the president that he has political support for the move,” Chitsulo stressed. “Most Malawians would not complain, but there may be a small percentage who do. So, it is our duty to mobilize the people to support the president and give him the strength to move forward with the plan.

“If it is just a quiet dream, it may die. So, we have to continue to speak up about it.”
UAE Reprimands Israel Envoy Over Temple Mount Clashes, Emirati Airline Cancels Independence Day Flyover
Israeli Ambassador Amir Hayek was summoned by the United Arab Emirates on Tuesday to hear the Gulf state’s condemnation over the recent violence around Jerusalem’s Temple Mount and in the Old City.

UAE Minister of State for International Cooperation Reem bint Ebrahim Al Hashimy conveyed to Hayek the country’s “strong protest and denunciation” of the clashes around Jerusalem’s Al-Aqsa Mosque, including what she cast as attacks on Palestinian civilians and incursions into holy places.

Al Hashimy “stressed the need to immediately stop these events, provide full protection for worshipers, respect the right of Palestinians to practice their religious rites, and halt any practices that violate the sanctity of Al-Aqsa Mosque,” according to a statement released by her office.

Al Hashimy also raised “concern over the escalation of tension that threatens stability and security in the region.”

Israel earlier emphasized its “responsible and measured” efforts to contain riots on the Temple Mount while protecting access to the site, and decried the spread of disinformation fueling tensions in Jerusalem.
UAE summons Israeli envoy over Temple Mount violence
Israel's envoy to the United Arab Emirates was summoned on Tuesday following violent clashes that broke out at Jerusalem's Temple Mount compound.

The Emirati International Cooperation Minister, Reem bint Ibrahim al-Hashemy, summoned Hayek in protest of the clashes between Israeli authorities and Palestinians in recent days at Jerusalem’s holy site – the Temple Mount for Jews, and the al-Aqsa Mosque for Muslims.

Such unrest left some 170 Palestinian demonstrators wounded and hundreds more detained over the weekend.




Bennett Closes Temple Mount to Jews Until the End of Ramadan
PM Naftali Bennett has decided to close the Temple Mount to Jews starting this Friday (or latest, this Sunday), until the end of Ramadan. The Temple Mount is the Jewish people’s holiest site.

According to Temple Mount activist Tom Nisani from Beyadenu, who spoke with JewishPress.com, Israeli police will also be removed from the Temple Mount. The Temple Mount will be closed to non-Muslims for at least a week-and-a-half. This end-of-Ramadan closure typically coincides with increased Muslim violence and riots on the Temple Mount and in Jerusalem.

Conveniently, the closure also coincides with the first demand by Mansour Abbas and his Islamic Ra’am party, as a condition for their return to Bennett’s coalition. That demand is the end to all Jewish prayer on the Temple Mount.

1) A commitment to maintaining the status quo in the Al Aqsa Mosque (on the Temple Mount) and the holy places, and preventing prayer by Jews in the Temple Mount plazas;

Despite the poor optics for Bennett, and unfortunately for those who are accusing exclusively Bennett of capitulating to his Islamic partners and the government of Jordan, this closure is normal (sic) discrimination against Jews.

For the past few year, the Temple Mount has been closed to Jews at the end of Ramadan for 7-10 days, so as not to upset the Muslims, with the false hope they won’t get even more violent if they don’t see any Jews or Israeli police on the Temple Mount.


Police block Ben-Gvir from reaching Damascus Gate amid tensions
Israel Police blocked Otzma Yehudit head Itamar Ben-Gvir and hundreds of right-wing activists from reaching the Damascus Gate to hold a flag march on Wednesday, amid heightened tensions surrounding Jerusalem and the Temple Mount.

Prime Minister Naftali Bennett had earlier ordered a ban on Ben-Gvir from entering the Damascus Gate. Police blocked the road from Jaffa Road to the Damascus Gate with barricades and trucks in order to stop the march. Participants in the march scuffled with police in an attempt to break through the barricades and reach the gate, but many eventually decided to enter the Old City through the Jaffa Gate instead.

"I have no intention to allow petty politics to endanger human lives. I won't allow Ben-Gvir's political provocation to endanger IDF soldiers and Israel Police officers," Bennett said of the far-right lawmaker.

The decision came at the recommendation of Public Security Minister Omer Bar-Lev, the Shin Bet (Israel Security Agency), and the police.

"The annual flag march will take place on its regular date, Jerusalem Day," Bennett promised.

The prime minister said that Israeli soldiers and police officers must "continue to focus on protecting the citizens of Israel and determinedly flighting Palestinian terror."


Father of Tel Aviv Shooter Demands Return of Son’s Body Before He’ll Turn Himself In
Fathi Hazem, whose son, Ra’ad Hazem, killed three Israelis in a terrorist shooting at a bar in Tel Aviv earlier this month, has said he will not turn himself in unless Israel returns his son’s body.

Ra’ad was killed in a gunfight with security forces near a mosque in Jaffa.

Following the attack, Israeli security forces raided the Jenin refugee camp several times in an attempt to detain the terrorist’s father and brother.

Speaking before a crowd in the Palestinian city of Jenin after the attack, Fathi expressed his approval of his son’s actions, according to a report by the Middle East Media Research Institute. “Make us among the victorious troops who are first to storm the Al-Aqsa mosque,” he said, referring to his son.

In a Facebook post, the former commander in the Palestinian Authority’s security apparatus railed against Israel and refused to comply with security forces’ repeated demands that he turn himself in.

“There are also members of my own people who are asking me to turn myself in, and I won’t do it until I get my son’s body [back],” Fathi wrote.
Gaza’s anti-aircraft capabilities are neither new nor likely to be effective
In the early hours of Tuesday, the Hamas terror group launched several anti-aircraft missiles at Israeli jets conducting airstrikes in the Gaza Strip. The Israel Defense Forces, which was targeting Hamas sites in the wake of a rocket fired from Gaza at Israel hours earlier, said the missiles did not damage any aircraft.

Palestinian media presented the use of the missiles as a new, groundbreaking capability, with Hamas itself later publishing a video showing off the attempt.

But not only are these capabilities not new for Hamas and other Gaza-based terror groups — they are also highly unlikely to be successful, according to experts.

Hamas’s first reported use of an SA-7 shoulder-fired missile, also known as a Strela-2, was in October 2012. In November of that year, Hamas also released a video in which it claimed with no evidence to have hit an Israeli F-16 jet with the missile.

In fact, Gaza groups have had no known success using anti-aircraft missiles against Israeli aircraft.

The Strela-2 shoulder-launched air-defense system, produced in the early 1970s by the Soviet Union, works by using primitive infrared tracking to lock onto a target, known commonly as “heat-seeking.”

A well-known Western weapons expert who writes anonymously on Twitter under the pseudonym of Calibre Obscura, and whose reporting has been cited by The Guardian, AFP, Vice and others, told The Times of Israel that Israeli aircraft would heavily use flares in order to trick the system, the most common and simple countermeasure.


Biden Admin Could Remove Sanctions on 80,000 Iranian Militants
The Biden administration's latest proposal in nuclear discussions with Iran would waive sanctions on at least 80,000 members of the Islamic Revolutionary Guards Corps (IRGC), a paramilitary force that has killed hundreds of Americans and waged terror attacks across the Middle East.

The proposal removes the IRGC's terror designation, making it easier for foreign fighters to enter the United States, according to congressional officials. The IRGC's Quds Force, a smaller contingent that primarily fights overseas, would be added to the U.S. terror list to offset the move. Estimates circulated on Capitol Hill and relayed to the Washington Free Beacon indicate between 80,000 and 180,000 fighters would have sanctions dropped. The Quds Force sanctions would cover just 20,000 Iranian militants.

Iranian officials confirmed the proposal in recent days, prompting outrage from Republican foreign policy leaders, who say the IRGC must remain on the U.S. terror list amid attacks on American outposts in the region. They view the concession as a deal breaker if presented to Congress for approval. Members of the Republican Study Committee (RSC), the party's largest congressional caucus, are preparing legislation to keep sanctions on the IRGC and its affiliates. With the midterm elections quickly approaching, a Republican majority in Congress would have the ability to unilaterally reverse any sanctions relief to Iran granted by the Biden administration as part of a new accord.

"Delisting the IRGC and then putting only Quds Forces on the list would effectively mean the other 80,000 or so fighters on the IRGC would be taken off the terrorism list and can now enter the United States," said one senior Republican briefed on the proposal. Members also have been briefed about how the proposal permits IRGC fighters to enter the United States, according to a copy of that information seen by the Free Beacon.

Some Democrats are speaking out against the move. Sen. Joe Manchin (D., W.Va.) on Tuesday wrote to Secretary of State Antony Blinken, saying he was "particularly worried" about removing the IRGC from the State Department's Foreign Terrorist Organization list. "We should not reward Iran with sanctions relief," he said, until the nation demonstrates willingness to curb its "nuclear ambitions" and "terrorism financing."
Iran’s IRGC wanted to learn Hebrew, ex-hostage says
The jaw-dropping new book The Uncaged Sky by the Australian academic Kylie Moore-Gilbert about the seizure of her as a hostage from 2018-2020 reveals that the Islamic Revolutionary Guard Corps (IRGC) sought to learn Hebrew from her, presumably for espionage purposes.

A riveting section of Moore-Gilbert’s account of her captivity states that Mohammad Reza, an IRGC official who interrogated her, said to Moore-Gilbert: “Have you thought about what you can offer us? You need to come to us with an offer. Can I make a suggestion? You speak Hebrew. You could give us lessons.”

Moore-Gilbert wrote “My eyes widened in surprise. The Revolutionary Guards want me to teach them Hebrew! The thought of me in a classroom teaching the Jewish language to a room full of antisemitic Islamic extremists was both intriguing and frightening.“

She told Reza that “If you agree to free me from prison and send me home. I would be willing to teach you Hebrew. But I’m not willing to spy for you. I am not a spy, and I have no interest in being one.”

A prisoner swap, and not Hebrew lessons, eventually secured Moore-Gilbert's freedom in November 2020. Thailand's government released three convicted Iranians who plotted a bomb explosion in Bangkok in 2012 in exchange for Moore-Gilbert's release.


PreOccupiedTerritory: Instead Of U.S. Defense Umbrella, Blinken Offers Mideast Allies Actual Umbrella (satire)
The American secretary of state gathered in this community two weeks ago with leaders from around the region who came together in the face of the growing Iranian menace – and in the face of an American presidential administration apparently keen on further empowerment of that menace – to reassure all parties of his government’s commitment to their security, with details now emerging of the specifics of that commitment, including Joe Biden’s intention to replace a metaphor for American protection of regional interests with a literal implement for keeping rain from falling on one’s head.

Follow-up work on the Negev Summit of late March produced several US-issued documents, among them a clarification by Secretary of State Antony Blinken that continued US commitment to the security and defense of allies in the Middle East will translate into practical terms as the substitution of a nuclear umbrella or defense umbrella with a plain old umbrella.

“It will be a high-quality umbrella,” assured Blinken. “Perhaps one of those Gustbuster types, with reinforced rigging to prevent it from turning inside out even in strong wind. Alternatively, it could be on of those newer ‘upside-down’ models that close upward instead of downward, which means that wind catching it from underneath and blowing it the other way would just close it instead of turning it inside out.”

“Umbrellas have all sorts of sizes and color schemes,” he continued. “From transparent to solid black, with countless varieties of patterns. The administration’s favorite at the moment is rainbow, as I probably need not tell you, but I’m sure we can find other kinds as well. Personally, I am a fan of the golf umbrella, the size that allows you to fit a whole crowd underneath. And the administration promises to make an umbrella available to our Middle East allies in the next six weeks.” The Middle East rainy season ended last month.




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