The Night Before Christmas, Iranian version (@JSchanzer)

Jonathan Schanzer, senior vice president of research at the Foundation for Defense of Democracies, created this updated version of the famous poem A Visit from St. Nicholas, with as bit of a twist:

'Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the region

Not a creature was stirring, but Iran’s foreign legion;

The rockets they placed in the Mideast with care,

In hopes that the Quds Force

soon would be there; 

The weapons were nestled

all snug in their places,

While visions of war

put grins on their faces;

In Syria the bombs burst

with a terrible clap,

While the U.N. settles in

for a long winter's nap. 

The war grinds on,

Russia spreads more confusion.

More S400 sales are a foregone conclusion.

Trump from the White House tweeting “Syria withdrawal!”

America’s footprint grows increasingly small. 

What Biden does next,

nobody knows.

But the fear is a deal that empowers these foes.

Then who to my wondering eyes should appear,

But Esmail Ghani

from the Republic of Fear. 

It used to be Qassem,

so lively and quick.

But American drones made quick work of that prick.

Now it’s on Ghani

to continue the game.

In some ways he’s different,

but he’s more of the same. 

A bundle of weapons

he brings in his sack,

He’s a peddler of death,

and remorse he does lack.

But his eyes lack that twinkle.

He’s not quite as sly.

Soleimani’s the one for whom Supreme Leader does cry. 

Still, the plan is in place

and his control does expand,

with the terrorist groups

that Iran does command.

To fight for the cause,

one by one they all came.

Ghani whistled, and shouted,

and called them by name; 

"Now, Hezbollah! Now, Hamas!

now, Shiite militias!

Those Mahan air routes

are so damn suspicious!

To the border with Israel!

Through tunnels we’ll crawl!

We can also hit Saudi!

Bombs away all!" 

The refugees shiver

amidst new-fallen snow,

The Levantine land bridge,

It continues to grow.

The IRGC plan,

It’s as clear as can be.

It’s precision munitions

But there’s nothing to see. 

It’s all underground,

It’s all out of sight,

Human shields will get hit

But Iran gets off light.

It’s Christmas tomorrow

Nobody will talk of this plight

HAPPY CHRISTMAS TO ALL,

AND TO ALL A GOOD-NIGHT! 

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