Charity Calls At Dinnertime, Pretends You've Donated To Them Before (PreOccupied Territory)

Our weekly column from the humor site PreOccupied Territory. 

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Jerusalem, June 27 - A representative of a not-for-profit organization that depends on the generosity of supporters rang your phone while you sat eating with your family after a long day and attempted to convince you that because you have contributed to them before, you obviously find them worthy, and would you please contribute again, because the cause is so worthy, when in fact you have never contributed to said organization an would prefer to enjoy the time with your family without such a disruption.

A woman calling herself Rivka called at 6:45 pm on behalf of a charitable organization whose name you did not catch, but did not sound familiar in any case, and thanked you for your past donations to the charity. The confidence with which she recited her spiel caused you a moment of doubt during which you considered that perhaps you had given some money to her organization despite neither recognizing the name nor recalling having made such a donation, an activity for which you would have kept records for tax purposes.

"Good evening, my name is Rivka," she began and mentioned the name of her organization and mispronouncing your name. "I'm calling to thank you for your generous donation, and to ask you for further support of our activities." She then exploited your wish to avoid unpleasant confrontation by regaling you with a list of the organization's flagship activities, in addition to what she called "exciting new initiatives" in the community.

At no point in her prepared script did Rivka apologize for the intrusion into what in most households represents one of the few stretches of quality family time, whether around the dinner table or in various recreational or relaxation pursuits. Nor did the caller acknowledge that many households, notably yours until last year, spend that time of day readying a preschooler for bed and coaxing the remaining schoolchildren to complete their work and pack for for the next day's sessions, and that therefore a call to ask for money disrupts the harmony, bonding, or basic functioning of said household.

Rivka also attempted a gentle deflection of your insistence that you have never donated to the organization she represents, but found herself unable to provide an adequate response to your challenge that you never received a receipt for the previous donation for which she appeared so thankful.

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