Man Mystified That Changing Profile Pic Hasn't Ended War (PreOccupied Territory)

Our weekly column from the humor site PreOccupied Territory. 

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Kiryat Motzkin, November 14 - A resident of this Haifa suburb voiced confusion and frustration today following a period during which he replaced his typical social media avatar with the logo of a movement to end armed conflict, only to discover that armed conflict nevertheless persists.

Dudu Enema, 25, answered a call on Twitter, Instagram, and Facebook for users to switch their profile images to a picture of a dove holding an olive branch in its beak, in an effort to promote peace and end war. The accounts receivable clerk made the change within minutes of seeing the posts asking people to do so, confident that such action would have the desired effect. However, two days later he discovered that the incidence of armed conflict had only increased, with Hamas and Israel trading blows, the Syrian regime continuing to battle Islamist militias in a brutal, seven-year-old conflict, Iran and Saudi Arabia destroying Yemen in a proxy war, and more African countries than he cares to count still mired in civil war, jihad, genocide, and racial violence. Enema admitted he was at a loss to explain the failure of the avatar switch to bring peace.

"I'm struggling to make sense of it," he disclosed in an interview. "Just like with those breast cancer awareness campaigns and who knows what else - as soon as I changed my profile picture to a pink ribbon last year, for example, that was it - I think there's no more breast cancer. Is that right? And everyone knows Black Lives Matter now, as well. Racism has been vanquished. When I saw the posts asking people to make their avatars a peace dove, I thought, well, yeah, of course. My only other thought was that we should have done this sooner."

"Imagine how history would be different if there had been a social media campaign of this nature and power before the Second World War," he continued. "The world would be a very different place. I mean, aside from the fact that the existence of social media before the war would mean things were already very different, but I think you get the point. It's a powerful tool, this changing of profile pictures."

"That's why I'm so puzzled," he added. "Do you think maybe if enough people attended candlelight vigils it would put the movement over the top? I'm thinking maybe this is the solution to all that gun violence in the US. Has anyone thought of trying it?"

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